Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2013 8:04:00 GMT -5
Why was it that the very moment that he tried his to find happiness, they very moment that he had finally found someone that loved him,- someone that made him feel as if he could not only love, but even made him feel as though he could live, made him feel as if he could finally breathe again after all of the time he had spent walking around numb, and lifeless as if he were nothing more than a walking corpse- that his world chose that moment in particular to come crashing down all around him all over again?
It had started out so innocently that morning, Xayden had been sitting at the Ravenclaw dining table eating his breakfast when an owl had swooped down, landing right next to him with a seemingly innocent letter clasped in it's beak. One glance at the owl was all that it had taken before he knew that something was very wrong. The owl that had landed next to him had not been his father, or his brother's. Instead, it had been one that he had only seen before during very important events. It was the owl that belonged to none other than the head of the Roubsouay family and his estranged uncle; Arun Roubsouay.
The owl hooted at him impatiently and it was as if he was in a sort of dream as he slowly reached out, grasping the letter and gently pulling it free from the owl's leg watching numbly as it flew off to join the others in the owlery. Slowly, his eyes moved down to the letter that he had grasped inside of his hand and very calmly he stood up from his place on the bench, ignoring the looks that he was given from his housemates, ignoring the worried look that he had been given from his friends, and his brother as he abandoned both the remainder of his morning meal -he had suddenly lost his appetite,- and the warmth of the castle as he made his way to his sanctuary, the locker rooms.
Upon reaching the cool silence of the lockers he immediately closed the door behind him casting a locking charm on it so that he could or would not be disturbed by anyone. Sitting down on the very edge on one of the benches, he glanced at the letter again and with very shaky hands he tore open the very top of the envelope that held the letter inside before gently pulling it out. His eyes fell closed for a moment before opening and glancing at the contents of the letter, his blood running cold when he saw just what had been written.
Xayden Andrews Roubsouay,
We of the noble and honorable Roubsouay line have written this letter in order to inform you that a contract that involves both you and a member of another fine wizarding line has been made and signed by the head of both families. As of the eleventh of March, - the day that we know you will have received this letter by- you are officially engaged to be married to said member of said wizarding line, whose identity shall be kept secret until the day that you meet, as given your past history we know what you will attempt to do to your fiancé if you were given his identity. If by some miracle you are able to find out the identity, you are to keep quiet until the date specified. Any attempt at going against this order will be treated as treason against our family name, and will be treated as such. You will be punished to the fullest extent of our family law. Do not test us. Moving on, here are the terms of your contract. Read, memorize, act accordingly, and remember that we are always watching.
From today onward, you are to break off any relationships that you have found yourself in. You are not to be seen displaying any sorts of affection towards any person who is not in any way related to you be it female or male. You are not to act out in any way that may shame either our, or the other family's name. You are not to continue any type of sleeping around of any kind.
From this point on you shall be loyal to your fiancé, any one that you are seen with after today shall be treated as a hindrance to the growth of our family name, and we know that you are informed on how we deal with hindrances. In addition to what is previously listed above, you are not to be seen interacting in any way with any of the people listed below:
- Noah Percy Weldings, or anyone of the Weldings surname.
- Alejandro Fernandez, or anyone of the Fernandez surname.
- Matthias Ojanpera*
We have been informed of your past interest in these males, and the fact that you have been linked romantically with these three in the past. We have also been informed that Matthias Ojanpera no longer attends Hogwarts, any attempt to see him outside of school shall be foiled immediately so do not even try. Again we are watching you.
Lastly, we are to inform you that any attempt to breach the terms of your contract, any attempts to discredit or shame our family name shall result in you being brought to the Burmese complex and spending time in the reconditioning room. We have tolerated a lot of nonsense from you in the past, and are at our limit. We advise you not to further test us, as it would be in your best interest to comply with your orders, and our wishes.
Have a good day.
Sincerely,
Arun Roubsouay, and Family Advisers.
Xayden's jaw clenched tightly as he read, and reread what had been written on the letter. It had finally happened. They had managed to trap him. He was going to be married off to another pureblood, he was forbidden to see any of his friends any longer. He was forbidden to see his Aito anymore.
Aito.
The mere thought of his sweet smile, the mere thought of those beautiful black eyes that he loved to look in was enough to make his heart feel as though it had been broken again. The mere thought of those soft lips that he loved to kiss, the soft skin that he loved to touch, was enough to make him feel as though he could not breathe. His trembling hand moved up to grasp at the fabric that lay covering his heart. It was starting to hurt again. It was starting to ache with the realizations that he had.
He would never be allowed to hold Aito again. He would never be allowed to kiss him, or tell him that he loved him. He would have to end his relationship with him, he would have to watch as his life, his love, his heart, his very reason for living and breathing walked out of his life. He would have to let him go.
no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.no.No.NO!
Why did this have to happen to him?! WHY?! Just when he had found his happiness, just when he had gotten a taste of what true love was like, he would have to give it up! Rage surged through his body as he snatched up the letter and tore it up. Ripping and shredding at it until it was just as ripped, just as torn and scattered as his broken heart. Panting heavily, his shoulders, and chest rising and falling with each and every shaky breath he glared at the remains of the letter as though it was his worst enemy.
For a very long moment he sat there, numb to everything but the rage that he felt until it slowly faded away, leaving something much worse in it's wake. Pain.
His hand moved to his chest as nothing but sadness, grief, and pain filled his heart, body, and soul.
"A-Aaaaah."His body trembled, shook with the frantic effort of trying to draw in some air to his aching lungs. He didn't want to breathe, he didn't want to live anymore. If he couldn't be with Aito what was the point? A world without him in it meant nothing to him.
"I don't want to live anymore. I've already lost Mattie. I can't lose him too. I can't. I can't." He shook harder, his body trembling from quiet sobs, tears running freely down his cheeks. His breathing became more rapid, more frantic and his sobs became louder and louder until the only thing that filled the room were the heartbreaking sounds of his cries.
"What did I do to deserve this?! Why can't I just ever be left to be happy?! A-Aaaaah. It hurts. It hurts. I want to diiiiiie." His breathing became more and more frantic and his hand dug into not only his shirt, but the skin where his broken heart lay as if he could cause the pain to end. As if the gesture could cause his broken heart to stop causing him pain. As if the gesture could make his heart stop beating all together.
It was all too soon that he felt the lack of oxygen begin to mix with his hysteria causing him to become lightheaded, and his world began to fade to black. A bitter smile crossed his lips as his eyes fell closed, and his body grew still. This would be the fifth time that one of his breakdowns would cause him to lose conciousness.
Hopefully this time he would be lucky, and by some miracle he wouldn't wake up.