Losing Grip (Open)

[Bella Walsh]

"Bella?"

Far up in the Astronomy Tower, a thin figure stood on the observation deck in the pouring rain, head upturned toward the falling water. Long, dark curls were weighted by water, and the black hooded sweatshirt soaked up each drop as it disappeared into the material. Streaks of red swam away from a cut across her fair cheek and joined the tears that flowed so freely from her emerald eyes, which remained closed. The Grey Lady moved through the air with an expression of alarm and concern etched over her features.

"Bella...?

The figure finally turned with a heavy heart and gazed at the ghost without speaking.

"You'll catch your death a cold out here, Bella."

"Good...maybe it'll be what they need to leave me alone."

"The baron is dealing with them right now, and if I know my Baron, it's not pleasant." The ghost offered, wanting to console the girl.

Bella choked softly on a sob and sat down in the middle of a forming rain puddle, wrapping her arms around the frigid stone and laying her bloodied cheek against it. The ghost fretted, unable to pull her in and her hands passed through her as if she were made of naught but air.

Bella only stared through the water droplets at the line of trees protecting the border of the Forbidden Forest. She was so tired of being tormented, this time, the Slytherin boys had hurt her immensely. The spell Diffindo was flung at her. It chopped off part of her pretty hair, cut off her tie that had her brand new Animagi symbol stitched on it, gashed her cheek, shredded her school shirt and her skin. The tie and her hair was still on the floor of the castle, and a trail of blood led to this spot.

"Bella, you've just done the one thing you've always wanted! You've become an Animagus! Did you already forget how proud the Headmistress is of you?"

She was cold, tired, and bleeding beneath the sweatshirt that hid all of those wounds away. "All I want...is to know who I am, really. And to be happy. Loved. Cared for."

The ghost understood better than anyone the desire. And she came into the rain fully, hovering near the tear filled eyes. "I know who you are, Bella." She sighed in a soft echo as she finished. "You are my great grand-daughter. The daughter of Persophone Ravenclaw."

"I know." Bella sighed, "I figured it all out after I practically slept in the library book dealing with our family. Doomed to bear daughters of beauty and intelligence, from relationships of false love, and die of the broken heart. Can I skip that? My heart is broken enough."

The ghost was bothered immensely, "If you know, why do you let people torment you so?"

"I'm too good for my own good."

Heiress of Ravenclaw...did the Headmistress have to announce to the entire school during dinner that not only was she the youngest registered Animagus, but the single living blood relative of Rowena Ravenclaw? They had been obedient and applauded afterward, but when she was out of the sight of the teachers, it happened. They wanted to make her change, then make it so she couldn't change back.

Despite her cries of pain and the horrible smell of blood, it wasn't stopped until she broke away and ran away. The hoodie was put on as the blood soaked her shirt and she made her way here, where she sat, embracing the stone pillar on the balcony in the pouring rain. Tears disappeared into the rain and she nestled her head into the stone again.

This would pass as everything else had, but she was too tired to fight on this night. As consciousness slipped away, sobs still shook her. She knew tomorrow would be another day and she'd be stronger then, but it was another day of utter loneliness.

Wonderful.

[shava4444]

Fredrik took the three books from the Librarian with a nod and put them in the pack before signing them out on her precious register. He supposed she had to track down students and take some books back by force occasionally because children were dumb about such things. Not him, but she wouldn't be in a position to understand that. As he turned and headed for the doors he passed a group entering with homework in their arms. "Hey Jari," a couple waved, "Jari, are you and Susan an item?" The Hufflepuffs giggled, frowned at by the Librarian as Fredrik rolled Jari's eyes. "You can't believe I'm going to tell you something before I know it, can you?" Taking his answer as cheek they giggled again and then hastened out of the doorway at the Librarian's glare a second time.

Fredrik slipped out the door and frowned. Why did teenagers have sex and matchmaking permanently on the brain? The girls could not stop talking about it! He hadn't noted any particular message from Susan when they had come to this place, though his first meeting with her was as difficult as with anyone. A good half the students now thought he had been hit with some forget spell, though the adults were a little easier to fool. Walking away he choose a way to get to somewhere he could practice his magic in peace and without interruption. Surely no one would be up the Astronomy tower in this pouring cold fall rain? Though any storm in Finland would have put the weather down here to shame. Heading up the stairs once he reached them, he felt good that he could get in the homework in a few minutes; it was all fairly rudimentary.

Opening the door however he noted an oddity. In the outside wall was a half a ghost. Or at least he assumed it was half a ghost, the transparent cloth slowly flowing to a wind no human could feel and only the back half of "someone." He wasn't very pleased to find Hogwarts had ghosts that could converse; having things passing through the wall had never appealed to him for privacy reasons. Stepping to the window he looked out that way and saw he had been right, but it was the figure she was trying to get attention from that made him sigh. "Jumalauta!" * he swore under his breath and looked quite annoyed. Pulling his wand out of his sleeve, he tapped the doors so they opened and he stepped out into the driving rain, carefully placing his feet till he got to the girl. Glaring at the ghost he said "If you want to be helpful, it would be better if you raised an alarm with a Professor, or better yet tell the nurse. I'll take her straight there."

Worthless things ghosts. Ignoring what the creature said back he leaned down and felt for a pulse then muttered under his breath. Using his wand he cast out and the unconscious body lifted under his casting while the ghost looked on before turning and vanishing through the wall. Moving backwards carefully he got the girl inside and laid her on the floor before casting several spells his teachers would have raised eyebrows on because of the sureness to his casting, so different from last year. But with no witnesses it was much easier! Dry and warm charms followed before he Picked her up in his arms directly (much easier then the spell actually for maneuvering when you weren't supposed to be able to do it so well) and walked out of the tower leaving his bag behind.

As he walked towards the place a small trail of red blood drips marked their passage occasionally pointing to the Hospital Wing.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

* This is a combination of two words jumala meaning god and auta meaning help (verb, imperative 2nd person). It is used in a similar fashion to Oh God except in Finnish it tends to have a slightly aggressive emphasis, usually used as a way of expressing one's frustration. Perhaps the most accurate English counterpart for "jumalauta" is "godd*mn it", although in English one asks God to d*mn the person or reason for the problem, whereas in Finnish one simply asks God for some kind of help.

[Bella Walsh]

A silvery apparition drifted through walls to the hospital wing, and spoke in a far off voice, "Ready a bed. She is injured and possibly sick."

Judging by the transparent face, Madame Pomfrey didn't need to ask who. She bustled about and readied one of the beds in a secluded area with pillows and warm blankets. In turn, the Grey Lady drifted through the walls toward the Ravenclaw Common Room where she would alert her mother's portrait.

Behind closed eyelids, eyes did not move. The drying spell may have taken the water away, and the heating spell may have warmed her to a point, but her face remained flushed a bright red. She was somewhere between worlds, lost in thoughts and images.

Once more, she was 3 years old. Running after her mother with a joyous laugh that the woman had always told her was the most beautiful sound in the world. She was already speaking in full sentences and smarter than most of the muggles in the school that she attended. The absolute apple of her mother's eye. Rosy cheeks, bright green eyes, beautiful black hair, pale skin...so different than her mother's freckled face and red hair.'Last Name?'

'Wha....Walsh.'


In the present world, the Bloody Baron flew up from the floor and hung behind the form carrying his great granddaughter, a look of concern edged over his face. Those in his house that had assaulted her had been dealt with in the most painful way possible in his power, but now his attention was focused on that face from a distance.

"Many thanks, young Ravenclaw. The blood she has lost will leave her weak for a few days. Illness has already set in, even though, she will be alright." His echoing voice was low and morose. How had he not noticed the group of them slip away and get her?

During the Headmistress' speech at the Great Hall during dinner, she'd been given the highest praises as the youngest Animagus in the history of magic, and her name would be remembered. And it was revealed that Bella Walsh, was truly none other than Isabella Ravenclaw, the heiress to the dynasty of wisdom and power. She was petrified as she stood by the Headmistress, her green eyes wildly darting to find an exit, a feigned smile on her lips.

How had he not seen the fear?

Her eyes had stopped on a pair of someones' in the hall. One with a gaze as frigid as polar caps, the other...a tall boy whose face had fallen from proud and gleeful, to fearful when her gaze held. In the rush, she'd broken away and the boy was swallowed up in the crowd, clinging to his sibling. In that rush, she was followed into the empty corridors and viciously attacked.

It was his fault. He should have been more careful, rather than trying to figure out who it was she had looked at. Right now, the Grey Lady would announce to her house that the Slytherins had attacked the heiress to their house out of cold blood.

And here she was, en route to the Hospital Wing. So quiet and unresponsive. Burning up to the touch, bleeding a trail of blood along the marble floor. Where was she in her mind?

[shava4444]

Fredrik was not inhuman, he just normally was used to solitude. In a school there was little to be had and that was precious time spent to him. Going from the outskirts of civilization and speaking to another once a month to being suddenly transported into a town and then sent to a school teeming with adolescents was a harsh wake up call. Maybe that was why he came across a bit gruff when dealing with others when he had hoped for quiet. That was this case as well, but even as he did the right thing to save another's life, he was irritated about it. "Stupid girl, trying to freeze to death over some boy no doubt." That was, in his mind, inexcusable way to look at life; a selfish way to look at life which needed all types in it.

He hesitated mid step as a ghost began speaking to him (and not one of the more pleasant looking ones either mind). It seemed concerned about the girl in his arms and he nodded with a frown at the creature and then continued walking. "Your thanks is noted, though I do not do this for you, but because it is right. If you care so much, better you work on making sure she does not have opportunity again in the future for such or convince her she is worth something so she is not tempted to join your ranks too soon." 'Bloody ghosts. Just go away.' Fredrik had little belief they did any good in such a form and more so caused harm. The ghost continued to follow him floating along and he tried to ignore it, hoping it would stay quiet.

At the room they called the Hospital Wing he found the nurse with the door open waiting, clearly alerted. As she motioned him to hurry up and inside pointed at one of the beds, Fredrik took her towards it while speaking. "Found her on the astronomy tower outside railing, crumpled. Checked her pulse and found her senseless. Got her inside and dried her off with a charm and warmed her, but she's bleeding and hotter then-- " he broke off remembering who she was and she gave him an odd look. In response he shrugged and tried to think what Jari would say. "I've helped a healer before in the fields, Ma'am." Comprehension in her eyes, she shoo'd him out for a moment as she wanded the curtains around but said "Stay right there." In a few moments (when he heard the rustle of cloth and clothing and a few muttered charms) the curtains opened and she stuck her head out pointing at a table.

A bowl floated to him and she said "Hot water, bandages on the third shelf, and stick two of the light blue potions from the office shelf in your pocket too. Go!" Irritated even more at being ordered around, the only thing that caused him to bite back the retort was the knowledge a healer would grab anyone nearby if they were in a hurry; it wasn't directed at him personally. With a sigh he went and got what she wanted, finding the row of potions in the office and getting two of them and heading back. By then the curtains were open and the girl was clearly clothed in hospital clothing, her own robes a bloody mess on a side table. "Hurry up. Put that there, hand me one of them," she held out her hand "Then start wrapping her other arm. You tied a bandage before?" He nodded and put the hot water down beside her and handed over a potion. The girl's arm was hot to the touch, but he could see some work on healing had already been done and, seeing where the skin was newer, bandaged her upper arm, tied off with a solid knot.

As the nurse motioned saying "Help me hold her up," he stepped behind her and put his arm around her shoulders, keeping her up while the nurse held her head and poured the potion down her throat. There was a sudden flurry of activity as the patient tried to gag which brought her conscious pretty fast as the nurse held her nose and mouth shut, forcing her to swallow. Fredrik winced in sympathy knowing that was no fun on either side, but held the girl upright and her arm back, keeping her from forcing the nurse away with her right arm. The blue badge on his robe and the look of sympathy might be the only reasons he didn't get decked as she first opened her eyes.

[Bella Walsh]

Eyes snapped open with the sort of ferocity that would have made a horror director proud. Disoriented and high on adrenaline, she flailed and uttered a rapid incantation that someone of her age should never have even dreamed of knowing.

"Bella! Bella stop! You're safe!" The Baron beeseched, floating bedside as he waited anxiously for the Grey Lady to return.

Eyes darted to the other side, and her mind started to rapidly piece together what had happened. In a matter of seconds, she calmed and her face returned to its austere normalcy.

Then she glanced at the Baron. "Your house members should be taught that it isn't polite to strike a lady when her back is turned." That voice was icy enough to make even the ghost shiver.

"Helena is returning, Bella. She will be happy to see you're safe."

It was then she saw the one beside her and she looked into those eyes. In them was the wisdom of life in one so young...something that shone in her own. "Who are you?" She was not the simpering sort, and right now she was showing her heritage. An indifference and pride that had awoken in her mind. Without a doubt, it would ebb as her mind returned to normal.

[shava4444]

As the nurse held her nose to force her to swallow, the girl came awake and began flailing, swallowing enough to begin muttering an incantation she shouldn't even know about. Fredrik's eyes narrowed and he prepared to shield himself from it with the appropriate spell when she realized she wasn't being attacked and stopped it. Relieved he would not be forced to show a spell he was not supposed to know either, he watched as the nurse let go of the girl's face and leaned back looking more then a bit satisfied as she had managed to get most of the potion in her. "There. Now be still girl while I see to your face." She picked up a salve and began to slip some on her fingers in preparation for working on her face cut (the incidental other injuries now bandaged and healing.

The girl snapped something at the ghost (he was quite pleased to see he was not the only one who took offense at their meddling) and said something about another house attacking her. Out on the ledge? Then again, she did have a few cuts apparently which had nothing to do with the storm so it took him only a moment to realize that something must have happened before hand. The nurse studied Bella's face and then caught her chin long enough to add the salve to the cut, avoiding her eye deftly, then leaned back to study her handiwork he assumed. For his own part, He shifted slightly from holding her arm back to just supporting her which was probably what caught her attention. letting her feel there was someone else here.

As she met his eyes he instantly recognized a threat to his own plans in this young lady and pulled back slightly, warily. As he frowned at her suddenness of speech feeling a twinge of his old respect being gone, the nurse answered as she captured Bella's face again and added salve to a spot on her neck as well. "Be nice, girl, he's the one who saved your life and brought you here." Pulling back a tad more he let the nurse's answer stand as he said to her, clearly by his body language wanting to go, "Am I now finished, Ma'am?" To be told "No. I want to talk with you when I am done here." Seeing he was trapped for the moment he asked "May I go get my things then while I wait upon your pleasure?" unable to resist a touch of sarcasm.

She gave him a look, then nodded curtly, concentrating on her current patient. "First hand over the other, she needs both." Pulling the potion out of his pocket he avoided meeting Bella's eyes saying only "My name is Jari if you must know." Turning he slipped out of the room, the Grey Lady intercepting him in the hallway. Explaining about the tie and hair, he listened and then nodded reluctant agreement, going first to find those items and collect them before someone else did. With those and his bag back, he relocked the outside area of the Astronomy tower and returned to the Wing several minutes later followed thankfully by no one. When he returned, the wing was more quiet again, the two ghosts hovering near the bed which was blocked from sight of the door by the curtains again.

Passing it he did not look over but went straight to the nurse and was quizzed by her on the times he had helped healer's before in the field. Three separate occasions he let her know of having to be deft of thought to avoid saying the wrong things and correcting the information to something more fitting to Scotland. When she let him go he had the feeling he was going to be called back in for an evaluation for healing skills which, for all he knew, Jari might actually have had. His own were in similar skills, potions and Herbology in particular, but still he might be able to claim Jari's skills just having blossomed. it was as he turned to leave he found those eyes back on him again and the ghosts (temporarily he was sure) were gone.

[Bella Walsh]

The quiet was welcomed, and the smell of orange blossom was lingering in the air. But, Bella was unable to take solace in the silence here. She tried numerous times to get up, only to be met with resistance. So, defeated, she closed her eyes until a voice was heard from the portraits. "Where is my granddaughter?!" "She's no' yer gran'augh'er! Maybe yer grea' grea' grea' gran'augh'er...ye ol' nit!" Rowena Ravenclaw had moved all the way from her portrait Ravenclaw Common Room, to the portrait of a tavern where the barkeep was slurring evilly at her.

"Right here, Madame Rowena."

Bella spoke, and this time it was entirely different than the last. Perhaps the potion had had a minor side effect, something incorrect in the processing. The voice was calm, kind, warm...heartfelt.

"My darling girl! What have those nasty Slytherins done now?"

"Basic Diffendo. If any of those gargoyles that tend to try to attack me ever go above a fourth year's spell, I will defend myself."

The portrait smiled, "That's my girl! Don't let them see what you're capable of. Why ever did they sort you into Hufflepuff, I wonder?"

"The Sorting Hat said it was my heart. The goodness there was impossible to ignore."

"Well, that old ratty beenie has a point, but still...I believe your destiny won't be reached in Hufflepuff."

Bella laughed, "A wit in measure, grandma-ma."

Rowena positively beamed. "Good girl." The small woman left the tavern picture, the keep shouting obscenities after her.

For a moment, she sat in silence. Then she finally called out a soft, "Jari? Are you back? I'm terribly sorry for the harsh way I spoke earlier...I want to thank you."

[shava4444]

He wasn't sure how he felt about healing; it was interesting to know how everything worked but it was so much worse when you failed. Plus, everyone expected you to help them constantly all the time, your life an open book as well as your home. That might be the deal breaker for Fredrik who had always enjoyed his solitude in more then one way. being around a person or two was one thing, but more then that was an invasion. He was about to leave the wing (rather eager to try and get some practice in at least) when the girl called out to him as he passed. His head turned in her direction and he reluctantly changed directions.

Stopping beside her bed he said "There is no need to. It was the right thing to do whether I get thanks for it or not. As for the bandages and such," he made a face when he glanced back towards the nurse's area, "you would have to thank her for that, I merely assisted as I was here at the time. Healers have a way of sucking others into their work whether they want to be there or not, no offense meant." It was at that moment that he thought of something in his pocket and reached inside, pulling out two cloths, one holding hair and the other the tie and it's remains.

"I don't know why this is happening, nor why you would want ghosts around you, but the woman told me about these and I agreed to collect them to prevent anyone using it against you." He put both in her hands one at a time. Pesky ghosts, always thinking and talking too much. he doubted anyone would be after anyone that much, but it had happened; maybe one of the ghosts was paranoid about magic. "I cleaned up the blood trail as well so that you know. Now that you could thank me for, but the rest is what I would expect from anyone."

Oddly enough, though many in the school thought in terms of houses a lot, Fredrik had never bought into that culture. A house might give you a sketch of what a person's strengths might be towards, but there were six traits for any of the houses; any person sorted would be sure to have ONE of those traits at a minimum. Not all Hufflepuffs were friendly, not all Raveclaws read lots, and not all Slytherins were egotistical. Assuming such would easily allow one's enemies to sucker you into a mess and that was one thing Durmstrang had taught him quite well; never fall into a pattern others wanted you in or expected.

A grim smile as it had been out of his way, but still the girl made him a bit edgy. She was too sharp, this one, and he certainly didn't need her investigating him much.

[Bella Walsh]

"Thank you. Knowing my luck, someone would polyjuice potion me." She took a hold of the objects and gazed upward. "The ghosts are family, actually. And part of the reason that I get attacked. The Grey Lady is Helena Ravenclaw. My great grandmother." A vague smile, "The Baron is my great grandfather. Don't let the legend fool you. She did not scorn all of his advances. The Ravenclaw family is stuck in an endless rut of producing one daughter, then perishing."

Bella chuckled, "If I think hard enough, I can remember my mother before she died. Only little fleeting glimpses, maybe a voice, maybe a smell...but it's so vague that it's nearly not worth trying to capture." It was something that was more of a mental strain than anything.

"I am the youngest Animagus to date, the heiress to a legacy, and I still can't fight back. She laughed, letting her head lay back. "The lady that adopted me was a former Gryffindor, a member of Dumbledore's Army, and she taught me a lot about bravery and loyalty. I won't fight back unless I'm protecting someone else. Which is why a couple little Slytherins decided to Diffindo me when my back was turned. Those same people attacked someone dear to me, and I sent them flying."

How in the world did she start this stuff? She was supposed to be enjoying her childhood while it was still there. She was nearly 17 and the time for fun was going to be ending soon. "You seem to be wiser than you let on, I can see it in your eyes. But, I won't tell anyone. I would rather the school not know my heritage, but I can not memory wipe the entire school, I'm afraid. You do not want that sort of negative attention, so your secret is safe."

The nurse came back and studied her finally softened face before letting her up. "Thank you, ma'am." She looked back at Jari, "I'd rather not hang out here, plus I need to find my wand. Did you happen across one at the Tower?"

[shava4444]

Ghosts are family? Not a healthy way to look at it, really and he wondered how she had bought into that philosophy. To Fredrik a ghost was, regardless of whether they could think now or not, the past. They were from another time, a past period not family, not current. "Interesting. I'm afraid I don't buy into that concept of ghosts as part of your family, but if you are happy with them, then that's your business really." She began on family history and he tilted a glance at her which said he was missing something very fundamental in this conversation.

"So. You are telling me you were attacked because you are related to ghosts basically? And yet you still see them in a positive light? Maybe it's just me, but you are who you make yourself. Anyone who assumes things about you based on your past family is, no offense, an idiot. Only you can make you who you are, the past can only influence you if you let it." So she was related to a founder of the school? Nice, he guessed, not that it meant anything who was from outside Hogwarts as he still saw himself. Outside of Hogwarts the four founders were known as were tons of other talented people in Wizarding History but until he arrived here he did not how they were revered by some.

And damn it, she did notice and remember his eyes! Ever since the change the truth had been right up front, something he hated but could do nothing about really. And she had noted it, but was nice enough to say she would not speak of it. "Thank you. I regret anyone's life being exposed by others so I am sorry for your lack of...privacy?" However, Fredrik was arrogant enough to gloss over her mentions of power and legacy; he was not impressed by a young girl who was simply on the path before most. And in the deserted areas of the world, animagus and metamorphs were not seen very positively so that prejudice did hang around in his mind a bit more.

"...No wand that I saw. Where did you last have it that you can actually remember? Could it have been before the tower because I have already searched there generally..." He could probably give up on private time now, faced with this situation; why did he have to be a decent person instead of an ass? It would have made his life so much simpler... "Is it possible those that attacked you might have found it or are keeping it to weaken you for their next chance of opportunity?"